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Writer's pictureChetana Karla Shakti

Understanding and Healing Intense Fight or Flight Response

Updated: Jul 28

Understanding and Healing Intense Fight or Flight Responses


Vocabulary :


FIght, Flight, or Fawn Response

  • Meaning:

  • The fight response is your body's way of facing any perceived threat aggressively.

  • Flight means your body urges you to run from danger.

  • Freeze is your body's inability to move or act against a threat. Fawn is your body's stress response to try to please someone to avoid conflict. Hyperarousal

  • Meaning: A state of increased psychological and physiological tension, often associated with anxiety.

  • Practice Sentences:

  • Experiencing hyperarousal during a fight or flight response can be overwhelming and exhausting.

  • Techniques such as deep breathing can help reduce hyperarousal and promote relaxation. Sympathetic Nervous System

  • Meaning: Part of the autonomic nervous system that prepares the body for physical activity and is often associated with the fight or flight response.

  • Practice Sentences:

  • The sympathetic nervous system activates when you perceive a threat, preparing your body for immediate action.

  • Understanding how the sympathetic nervous system works can help you manage your responses to stress. Cortisol

  • Meaning: A hormone released by the adrenal glands in response to stress.

  • Practice Sentences:

  • High levels of cortisol during stress can affect your mood and overall health.

  • Learning to manage stress can help regulate cortisol levels and improve well-being. Adrenaline

  • Meaning: A hormone released in response to stress, increasing heart rate and energy levels.

  • Practice Sentences:

  • The surge of adrenaline during a fight or flight response prepares your body to either confront or escape danger.

  • After an intense reaction, physical activities can help burn off excess adrenaline. Autonomic Nervous System

  • Meaning: A part of the nervous system that controls involuntary actions, including the fight or flight response.

  • Practice Sentences:

  • The autonomic nervous system regulates vital functions such as heart rate and digestion.

  • Understanding the autonomic nervous system can help you better manage stress responses. Homeostasis

  • Meaning: The body's ability to maintain a stable internal environment despite external changes.

  • Practice Sentences:

  • After a fight or flight response, your body works to return to homeostasis.

  • Practicing mindfulness can help restore homeostasis more quickly after stress. Desensitization

  • Meaning: The process of becoming less sensitive to a stimulus, often through repeated exposure.

  • Practice Sentences:

  • Gradual desensitization to triggers can help reduce the intensity of your fight or flight responses.

  • Therapy can assist in the desensitization process, helping you manage your reactions to stress. Neuroplasticity

  • Meaning: The brain's ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections.

  • Practice Sentences:

  • Neuroplasticity allows the brain to adapt and change in response to new experiences.

  • Techniques such as meditation can enhance neuroplasticity, aiding in stress management. Resilience

  • Meaning: The capacity to recover quickly from difficulties.

  • Practice Sentences:

  • Building resilience can help you cope better with stress and reduce the impact of fight or flight responses.

  • Regular practice of self-care activities can enhance your resilience over time. Mindfulness

  • Meaning: A mental state achieved by focusing one's awareness on the present moment.

  • Practice Sentences:

  • Mindfulness practices can help calm the mind and reduce the intensity of fight or flight responses.

  • Incorporating mindfulness into your daily routine can improve your overall well-being.



Experiencing a strong fight or flight response can be overwhelming, especially when triggered by someone crossing a personal boundary. The other night, you might have felt your heart racing, your muscles tensing, and an overwhelming surge of adrenaline. This intense reaction is your body’s natural response to perceived danger, but understanding why it happens and learning how to manage and heal from it is crucial for your well-being. Let’s explore everything you need to know about fight or flight, how to calm down, and steps to heal permanently.


Why Did I Experience Fight or Flight?

1. The Biology of Fight or Flight:

  • Sympathetic Nervous System Activation: When you perceive a threat, your brain triggers the sympathetic nervous system, releasing adrenaline and cortisol. This prepares your body to either fight the threat or flee from it.

  • Physical Symptoms: Increased heart rate, rapid breathing, sweating, and heightened senses are all part of this response. It’s designed to help you react quickly to danger.

2. The Trigger: Someone Crossing a Boundary

  • Boundaries and Safety: Boundaries are essential for maintaining emotional and physical safety. When someone crosses these boundaries, it can trigger a strong fight or flight response because your brain interprets it as a threat.

  • Personal History and Trauma: Past experiences and unresolved trauma can heighten your sensitivity to boundary violations, making your fight or flight response more intense.

3. The Fawn Response:

  • Understanding the Fawn Response: In addition to fight or flight, the fawn response is a survival mechanism where an individual tries to appease or please the perceived threat to avoid conflict. This can manifest as people-pleasing behaviors, difficulty saying no, or prioritizing others’ needs over your own.

  • Recognizing Fawn Behaviors: If you find yourself quickly conceding to others, excessively apologizing, or neglecting your own needs to keep peace, you might be experiencing a fawn response. Understanding this can help you identify and address these patterns.


How to Calm Down After an Intense Fight, Flight, or Fawn Response

1. Grounding Techniques:

  • Deep Breathing: Slow, deep breaths can help activate your parasympathetic nervous system, counteracting the stress response. Try inhaling deeply for four counts, holding for four, and exhaling for four.

  • Mindful Grounding: Engage your senses to bring yourself back to the present. Focus on what you can see, hear, touch, smell, and taste.

2. Physical Relaxation:

  • Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Tense and then slowly release each muscle group, starting from your toes and working up to your head.

  • Movement: Gentle exercises like yoga or walking can help dissipate the adrenaline and reduce tension.

3. Emotional Regulation:

  • Self-Compassion: Acknowledge your feelings without judgment. Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel this way and that you are safe now.

  • Talking It Out: Share your experience with a trusted friend or therapist. Sometimes, verbalizing your emotions can significantly reduce their intensity.


Healing and Preventing Future Episodes


1. Understanding Your Triggers:

  • Journaling: Keep a journal to track your triggers and responses. Writing about your experiences can help you identify patterns and gain insight into your reactions.

  • Therapy: Working with a therapist, especially one trained in trauma or CBT, can help you process past traumas and build resilience against future triggers.


2. Strengthening Your Boundaries:

  • Assertiveness Training: Learn to communicate your boundaries clearly and assertively. Practice saying no or expressing your discomfort in a calm, firm manner.

  • Self-Awareness: Regularly check in with yourself to ensure your boundaries are being respected. Trust your instincts and take action if you feel uncomfortable.


3. Building Resilience:

  • Mindfulness and Meditation: Practices like mindfulness meditation can enhance your ability to stay calm and centered, even in stressful situations.

  • Physical Health: Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and adequate sleep are vital for maintaining overall well-being and reducing stress levels.


4. Seeking Support:

  • Support Groups: Join groups where you can connect with others who have similar experiences. Sharing stories and coping strategies can be incredibly empowering.

  • Professional Help: If you find your responses are overwhelming or persistent, consider seeking help from a mental health professional. Therapy, medication, or a combination can provide significant relief and support.


Conclusion: Moving Forward with Healing

Understanding why you experienced such an intense fight or flight response and knowing how to manage and heal from it is empowering. By grounding yourself in the present, strengthening your boundaries, and building resilience, you can reduce the impact of these responses and foster lasting healing. Remember, healing is a journey, and each step you take is a powerful move toward a safer, calmer, and more self-assured you. Be patient with yourself, seek support when needed, and celebrate every step forward. You are not alone, and there is hope and healing ahead.


Discussion:


Here are some conversation questions designed to help you journal and support your healing journey:


Reflection on the Recent Incident

  1. What specifically triggered my fight or flight response the other night?

  2. How did my body feel physically during the intense reaction?

  3. What thoughts were racing through my mind at that moment?


Understanding the Experience

  1. How have past experiences influenced my reaction to boundary violations?

  2. In what ways did I notice the fawn response in myself?

  3. What emotions did I feel before, during, and after the incident?


Exploring My Boundaries

  1. What boundaries did I feel were crossed, and why were they important to me?

  2. How can I better communicate my boundaries in the future?

  3. What steps can I take to reinforce and protect my boundaries?


Calming and Grounding Techniques

  1. Which grounding techniques have I found most effective in calming myself down?

  2. How did I feel after practicing deep breathing or mindfulness exercises?

  3. What other self-soothing activities can I incorporate into my routine?


Healing and Growth

  1. What have I learned about myself through this experience?

  2. How can I practice self-compassion and kindness towards myself?

  3. What strategies can I use to build resilience and prevent future episodes?


Building Support and Connection

  1. Who in my life can I turn to for support and understanding?

  2. How can I communicate my needs to my support system more effectively?

  3. What support groups or communities might help me feel less alone?


Long-term Healing

  1. What are my goals for healing and personal growth moving forward?

  2. How can I incorporate regular self-reflection and self-care into my routine?

  3. What professional resources (therapists, workshops, books) can I explore to aid my healing?


Rewriting My Story

  1. How can I reframe my narrative to emphasize my strength and resilience?

  2. What positive changes have I noticed in myself since the incident?

  3. How can I celebrate small victories and milestones in my healing journey?


Gratitude and Positivity

  1. What aspects of my life am I grateful for right now?

  2. How can I cultivate more moments of joy and peace in my daily life?

  3. What positive affirmations or mantras can I repeat to myself to boost my confidence and calmness?


These questions can guide you in your journaling practice, helping you process your experiences, understand your reactions, and work towards healing and personal growth.

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